Scales are FUN, right?

That's my girlie. She loves to weigh herself every time we go to Publix. And while she is wanting to always GAIN weight, because that means she's growing, I still hate it. I hate that at 4, she's already thinking in terms of half pounds. If she's 40lbs she's happy. 39.5, not so much.

It's not like we discuss this with her. The scale is there, she got on it once when she was little so we could see what she weighed, and now, it is a ritual. I don't want the scale to determine if she's growing.

I want her artwork to determine that she's growing in her creativity. The way she runs faster and with purpose, new games she learns, funny sayings she makes up and the songs she sings, oh! and books she can now sound out the words too. THOSE things determine she's growing up. Not half pound markers on some random scale at the place we buy food. The place that also gives away free cookies to keep your kid quiet while you shop. Don't get me started there.


My daughter isn't in school yet and we are pretty vigilant about what she watches/reads/sees/hears. She doesn't know I'm fat. She just knows my belly is comfy. She just knows my breasts are pretty big and jiggly and she likes to snuggle on them. She knows I am trying to eat healthier, so I can "run faster." Food fuels our bodies, and so that's a lot of how we discuss it. Will this apple make me run fast? How about this cookie? I don't know if this is the right or the wrong way to go about it, but she seems to be good with a balance of nutritious food and junk. Of course, given free reign, the cookie would always win.

They say the number one predictor of childhood obesity is the mother's weight.

I weigh over 300 lbs. (that was supposed to be a secret, but hey, I think you could probably just look at me and figure it out, so why lie?)

I don't want my girl to suffer what I suffer. Being out of breath, not running fast, not fitting places, feeling sluggish, insecure about her appearance. And then later, high blood pressure that stays a bit high even on three medications. Diabetes type 2 that will slowly destroy my body. And whatever else comes next.

So when I try to weigh the pros and cons of WLS, a lot of it is with her in mind. Is it going to help me be a better mother? Is going to save her from becoming me? I'm scared to have surgery, that I will have complications and not be here for her. But then I am scared I'll stay this way forever, here for her, and ultimately condemning her to a life of fatness.

And we all know, fat ain't fun.